Page sixty-three of threesixfive.

Hello, as March have alr arrived.. which basically means, two months have passed.
Shits happened.. well it'll only be a short post this time round.

I found my main twitter too public, and everyone judges what I tweeted.. I decided to create a sub account. It's like finally, I can tweet whatever I feel like there, without being judged too much . Follow my sub acc @blackheartedx_ !

And i failed my amath common test.
Cheertears

As time goes by , we move on .

I am back blogging after a super long time. Common test week had ended. Did pretty badly for all my subjects. Sigh, well, what's done is done.

Once bitten, twice shy. I'll promise myself to put in triple effort in amath. It's really not an easy subject. I don't understand.. not clever enough to understand maybe.. or fated to fail that subject super badly.

Syf is around the corner, and the whole orchestra is like Still very cmi. Sigh, how to go for competition like that. Hah another conductor came to conduct tdy. She's like tons better than dxy. We should replace dxy with her. She even praised my section !♥ haha.

And, we ended. At least we ended it in a good way. Satisfied my craving tdy! abtm2! it's like so touching and funny! Ismail damn cute! lobang ip man sergeant ong too *-* heheh can't stop laughing!

Well, that's all maybe? Peace.
Black hearted, cold blooded.

studies .

well , it have been a long time since i last blogged , so i decided to blog about a topic this time round . basically because there's nothing special or what happened recently . LEGGO .

As you can see from the title . it'll be on studies . alright , i'm fifteen this year . No longer a lower secondary student . stress built up itself . frankly speaking , i wanted to take art instead of amath or emath , well , personal reasons , made me gave up my first choice . at least , i'm kind of feeling better now . Although memories still runs pass my mind every now and then . but it's still better than being in that class . Two months have passed , and i already can feel the stress being an upper secondary student . there's no longer weekly tests , and i've found out the reasons why . it's basically because , without weekly test , we'll be having more than two test every week . but i managed to do well . 

I've been doing quite well for emath , physics . but amath and chemistry is a no no . amath's surds isn't easy . and i've been absent from school for three days which means i've missed lessons . 

to be honest , i kind of like it when i'm stressed with works . because i'll not have extra leisure time to let the memories flows . but when night falls , memories will start running pass . sigh , can't manage my studies and relationship . 

Common test next week , ah sigh sigh . geography , amath , and chem's ionic bonding cmf fail la . well . that's  all i have for this post . goodluck howei , can't make it , don't do it . okay ? hah . 

150220130000 ♥

it's valentine's ytd . something unbelievable happened .
honestly speaking , i've rejected alot of guys :x
can't even rmb the exact number

but i finally decided to give it a try , after my fifteen years being single .
well , everyone have to take a step from their original position .

dear Reece , i can't promise that i'll be the best , but i'm willing to try , be glad , you're my first . we've been through thick and thin , obstacles previously , so i believe that we're able to do it tgt if we encounter more without fail too . meet up soon k hah . by now you should know me quite well , i'm not like the other girls , i hardly maintain like a girl ha wtf . special enough k . haha last long to us :D 15022013 0000
love you ,  ♥
howei .

wow , what a long message . i've really ran out of ideas on what to include in the msg .

g'day

CNYYY

Hello ! i'm back blogging :D hais , still in m'sia :( day seven already uh . ha , self declared holidays .
Got alot of ang baos ! frankly speaking , i'd never like cny . bc staying at my paternal grandparents's house for days kills . all i could do is sleep , eat , stares at blank wall . LOLOL ha . but the good thing is , reunion with cousins la .

i still prefer staying at my maternal grandma's side . although there's no aircon . but i'm closer with that side's cousins . yeah , like those that i've mentioned in one of my previous post when i'm back from china . yea ! my cousin is like the best and prettiest guy i've ever met . hah treated me so well !

even though we met each other less than five times a year, he still treats me like his closest sister :') rmbring that day i went into the kitchen to get water bc i ate chili , he poured water for me and helped me to eat my part . hahah and said "你看啦, 叫你学吃辣又不要, 现在吃到一点点辣就像要死酱 XD 后悔了HORH ? " TSK. he even help me ate my noodle bc i was too full . HAH . miss him alot .

basically , everything's fine . leaving for singapore this sunday morning . sigh , cmf chop alot to catch up in sch . good luck . self declared holiday ending soon .

WOO ! guess whattttt ? for once we have seven sec ones joining cello and bass section ! clap clap ! 4 guys 3 girls ! i'm so so so so so so so so so touched ! :') hope that they'll stay and have fun and not LEAVE ! love them so much ! i'll treat them very good ! believe me >:) but , i'm afraid that there's not enough cello . uh sigh sigh .

there's another post ltr ! stay tuned

Broke down.

 ♥
to be honest , i have no idea why did things went this way . nothing's right . sigh . 
i've always want to break down for a long time . finally . it has been a hard time for me , not sure if anyone noticed it . well , i doubt so . someone whom i can trust , and share my things with , pour everything out to , is it that difficult ? that's what i wanted . fate maybe . 
keeping everything to oneself isn't something good , tend to have insomnia , worrying about things that doesn't even concern me . 
Trying my best to lose weight nowadays , i skipped meals even though i know that it's not healthy , it'll not help to slim down or whatever shit . in fact , gaining weight . why will i still do that even when i know the consequences ? simply bc that , i have no one to eat with . yah FA la . forever alone la i know . funny isn't it ? laugh the shit out thankyou . really , that's why i visited the library everyday . there's the only place where i don't feel awkward being alone . imagine eating alone in canteen . one person take one bench . woah daisai uh isn't it . somemore , there's a few ppl whom i'm afraid to met . coward much . and , if i ask ppl if i can join them for recess , i'm like super thick skin . and break them . why couldn't i just die when i'm sleeping or smth ? i don't think anyone will understand how i feel . that pain inside , that feeling when you just want to cry out loud but you're afraid that ppl may think that you're attention seeking . tbh . i really wanted to go somewhere far far away , nobody will be there , and cry shout whatever i want out loud , nobody will judge . realised that i'm super quiet in class . i'll never talk unless someone asked me things or smth . i think got me or not it doesn't even matter . can't wait to end my miserable secondary school life . really . i find my existence annoying extra , no one will appreciate me la horh . sigh , why must we only know how to cherish when someone's gone . 
and . i'm tired of faking smiles . 

chapter 2 , page 32 of 365

surprisingly , first of febuary fell on a friday , wow . it's already febuary , a new month , a new start . but obviously , somethings are still not forgotten . hating this so much , things that i want to forget are not forgotten , and things that i don't want to forget are forgotten . sighpie .
well , finally got to have my lunch with brandon and junheng . hah , it had been 3 weeks since we said that we should have lunch tgt one day . but due to the hectic schedule that we have , we didn't managed . Cindy didn't came along bc she wanted to chiong maple . haha wtf . so we had subway . and i was being laughed at bc i dk how to order . so previously , it's the person that i am eating with ordered for me . oh and , brandon said that 我吃东西很恐怖 . bc things kept dropping . haha , he wondered if there's any holes in my mouth . haha . he even snapped a pic of me when i'm eating . hmph . unglam la sial .
once in awhile , there's always something that made my day .
other than that , everything isn't fine . i've lost someone whom i could share my things with . sigh . now i know that how important that person is . no one to share my feelings with . this feeling sucks a lot y'know . hais . i'm like a extra soul wandering around now . single and free . no one to lean on , never someone's first priority . this sucks a lot . i swear . so saddening , depressing , whatever . i couldn't find a word to describe this feeling . sigh . i don't mind killing myself or what . since my existence will not affect anyone , but a burden . enough of all those .