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//disclaimer . this is a personal post . you may choose not to read .
end of year examinations ended . yes , ended . finally , it's time to call this nightmare a close . but , well , y'knw , what comes next ? results ? yes , oh damn freaking yes . so , i call this another nightmare . sigh . you see , life is like a cycle unless you die uh . that's why ... i want to die so much . oh kay , my head is going  to be on the ground soon . oppsie .
sighpie . gotten back my results . it really suck to core . core yes core . not mantle nor crust . I only passed like two ... my combined science and chinese . so fucking sad lol .
mdm see told me that i f9-ed both my a and e math . how sad is that you tell me . lordohgosh . why in the world did i even chose this combi . when i wanted art like so much . urg . damn everything . well . i have to face the consequences .
i think getting single digit for amath is like my 强项 alr . what a good one . i'm kind of used to it le . sigh . but i'll still cry .. bc it's like I REALLY DID DAMN FUCKING STUDY .
speaking abt that . none of my hardwork paid off omg . it's like , i really sat down to really study for hours , i made notes , so that it'll be easier for me to read and understand and memorise etc . but , well .. everything went down the drain .. do you know how's the feeling like ? sighmuffin . i even came back to school on saturdays to ... FORGET IT .  what done is done . i can't really change anything though .. 

well , worrying , i'm still worrying .. i don't think i'll do as well ... i got kind of fed up when teachers kept on asking me .. what happened to my results .. i wished i know why too . all i could do was to say don't know .. 

sometimes , i really can't not blame myself for everything , but , oh , you see .. i started every single shit , and i thought it would benefit both side .. and i realised that it's not even helping .. i don't know what to do , but to just keep blaming myself ... maybe i shall just not be so 自作主张 anymore . sighcake . 

xx the end xx .