Christmas

♥

it's 29th today , i know. 

four days after christmas. 

maybe not posting on the day will made a difference .

-

This year , it's like one of the most suckish christmas.

didn't have the day to myself .

parents wanted me to stay at home. 

sigh. 

didn't receive any christmas wishes , 

until i'm the one who wished them first.

feeling so unwanted luh. 

it's like i'm fucking so not important .

until no one cares to wish me

feeling kinda down.

trying my very best to stay positive

giving myself the thought that , 

they're asleep , 

busy or whatever shit.

-

believing that i'll definitely receive one.

well , nah.

other than that bian tai. 

he whatsapped me in the midnight 

bc i told him to do so in audi.

haha , 

just to make myself a little happy. 

sigh, he's phone is like got spammed by wishes.

making me jealous only . 

-

but i received a post card from ethelind ,

a friend that i've met in fb

we don't know each other , 

but she knows my deepest . 

idk why , but i rather trusting strangers online than in rl.

bc they dk us . so they won't judge 

they don't leak out secrets. 

reliable. 

all those. 

from the bottom of my heart, i love you ethelind

 ♥

-

last christmas , 

just a dream. 

bc i know that, i will never had a perfect day like that

my life don't deserve those perfect day

that i'm blessed with wishes,

having rl friend that really cares

i don't deserve that, really. 

since i'm those person that no one will like

how boring , how lame. 

never someone's first priority.

those gifts that i've received last yr, 

i'll never going to receive any agn

everything's so perfect, 

let it just be a dream.